Morning sickness. Exhaustion. Mood swings. All things people tell you about being pregnant.
How to keep that pregnancy a secret is something that doesn’t always come up. I guess by the time you’re talking about the other stuff, the pregnancy is no longer a secret.
I found out I was pregnant when I almost threw up at the smell of wine. I dumped that wine in the sink. I was in denial for two days until I finally sucked it up and bought a test to confirm what I pretty much already knew.
I was only about four weeks along at this point and thought it was much too early to share the news. I wanted to get through the first trimester without any issues and then let people know. My other plan was just wait it out and see who noticed my baby bump first.
Unfortunately, I had every weekend until week 12 booked and the majority of the plans involved adult beverages.
I literally Googled “How to fake drink while pregnant.” I then took those tips and, through trial and error, came up with a few of my own and feel like any pregnant woman can benefit from this.
It sounds like a ridiculous problem but if you’re trying to keep a secret like that and people keep inviting you out, you can’t just be sick for two months. Though, trust me, the thought did cross my mind.
1. Show up early: This one is huge! My first pregnancy outing involved dinner and drinks with the girls. Not ideal. Guys aren’t very observant but women are, so I needed to be extra sneaky. Get there before your group and talk to the bartender or find out who your waiter is and explain what you’re doing. Every single person I talked to was extremely accommodating and brought me drinks that looked like real drinks. Also, try and get separate checks if you can. Your drinks are free now and some of your more observant friends might notice them missing from the check. This happened to me and I pretended to be super shocked and excited about free drinks. Then I tipped more.
2. Talk to the Bartender: I just told you this, but this is doubly important if you fail to show up early. That happened to me with the girls’ dinner. I showed up at the exact same time as the other girls. We’re all very punctual. At the dinner table, I acted like I was extremely indecisive and then when everyone else got their drinks I waited for the waitress to leave and then followed her. I told the group I was sick of waiting for a drink but then told the waitress I needed a mocktail and some serious discretion. Every time she came over I ordered a cosmo and she brought me cranberry juice and soda water. You can also pretend to go to the bathroom and find your server that way too. I was seriously shocked at just how amazing and accommodating bartenders and waiters are about this! You are not the first person to fake drink in their establishment.
3. Enlist your partner's help: One of my more difficult outings involved an “all-you-can-drink” brunch. At the time I booked this I was not pregnant and it seemed like a good idea. But the day of, all I could think was what pregnant lady goes to an “all-you-can-drink” brunch??? I almost pretended to be sick but I had friends visiting from out of town so I asked for my husband’s help. Every time the waiter came over I got a refill but when no one was looking, my husband and I swapped glasses. Needless to say one of us got a little sillier than the other but as far as I could tell no one in our group knew I was sober.
4. Drink Water: I was invited to several barbecues during my two months of secrecy. For some people not having a drink wouldn’t raise any eyebrows. I am not one of those people. So when I showed up at the party I grabbed a beer, made sure people saw me open it and then went to the bathroom. I dumped out the beer, rinsed the can thoroughly and filled it with water. Pregnant ladies are told to hydrate so this is one way to achieve that! Every once in a while I’d open a new beer and repeat the process.
5. Stay in: If you just can’t bring yourself to do any of this, just stay on your couch. Pregnant women need more rest anyway so pretend you’re sick and just stay home. You can really only get away with this once or twice before people start to think you’re mad at them. But if there’s a night you literally just can’t, then don’t! You’re growing a human and are entitled to eat ice cream and binge watch Law and Order: SVU if you want to!
I don’t know if it was just me but it seemed like I was put in a lot of situations where I had to hide my pregnancy during those first few months! I know this sounds ridiculous but it was pretty exhausting trying to stay social and not tell anyone I was pregnant. If anything, this whole experience made me grateful for all the awesome friends I have and my ridiculously busy schedule!
Any other pregnant ladies had to deal with this? What did you do to keep your news a secret?
Now I’m 15 weeks pregnant and this is my way of letting you all know. The secret’s out! A new member of the TasteBuds will be coming into the world on December 2.
