CLEVELAND - It's nice of "Dancing with the Stars" to make rock week the same week that the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame is inducting a new class in Cleveland.
It would be nicer if that were actually the reason for rock week.
One thing that is for sure: rock week threw the competing stars for a roll.
The fourth week of dances and choreography looked less impressive than they did the first week. The stars can kiss those high scores goodbye – fitting, because KISS performed.
First up, TV host Sherri Shepherd and Val did a tango to Quiet Riot's "Cum On Feel The Noize." Sherri started off grinding on the judges' desk, acting like an exotic dancer and looking like some sort of Goth version of 1980s Madonna. Once she hit the floor with Val, she had no charisma whatsoever. Her footwork was simply going through the motions. Very un-Sherry. The judges gave her a 21.
Next star to leave us scratching our collective head: Katherine Jenkins. The coy classical singer and Mark did a paso doble to Muse's "Time is Running Out." Katherine was wearing a black pleather catsuit and it's… Well, it was simply painted on. Mark, true to himself, brought in lots of his standard young and hip choreography, and Katherine was game for it and the aggressive dominatrix aspects of the dance, but her performance was a little uneven. The judges had mixed reviews, and gave her a 24.
Actor Jaleel White and Kym tackled a tango to the Rolling Stones' "Satisfaction." Kym tried to teach Jaleel to move like Mick Jagger. He did a good job with it and looked like he had fun. But the judges were not too impressed. They felt he lacked passion. Score: 22.
Next in line: actress Melissa Gilbert and Maks. He came up with a physically demanding and aggressive paso doble for Melissa, and she did a great job keeping up with it. But during most of their dance to The White Stripes' "Conquest," it looked like Maks was just carrying her around and she was just holding on for dear life. Maks actually had a slip-up and fell during his performance. The judges are apparently back to their bipolar opinions, because Len said he didn't mind. Otherwise, the judges felt it was one of Melissa's better dances so far. Still, she got a 22.
Near the end of the show, host Tom Bergeron said that Melissa had to go to the hospital. She later tweeted that she was alright after a mild concussion and whiplash. Based on the dance, it was quite possible those injuries were due to Maks whipping her around.
Regardless, Melissa tweeted, "@MaksimC you are my champion. I adore you.@GavinDeGraw bless your heart for carrying me down those stairs!"
Sorry, Jaleel. You may have tried for those moves like Jagger, but Green Bay Packer Donald Drive has the cocksure strut down. He and Peta did a paso doble that was pure entertainment. Now this is the type of performance we tune into "Dancing with the Stars" to see. Donald simply owned this dance. He looked powerful and his posture was pitch perfect. He strutted like a peacock to Jimi Hendrix's "Purple Haze." The judges loved him. So much so, he looked destined for at least one 10. Alas, the judges gave Donald three 9s: a 27 overall. The highest score of the night, but he was still robbed.
Donald tweeted, "Good morning, I first would like to thank everyone for there support. It was a amazing night. On TOP!!!!! Sweet. Now time for a workout."
Rock week was proving to be pretty surreal so far, and the trend continued with legendary singer Gladys Knight and Tristan doing a tango to an unorthodox song. A video popped up, showing judges Len Goodman, Carrie Ann Inaba, Bruno Tonioli, and host Tom Bergeron singing pre-taped vocals to Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody." It was so surreal and strange, it was like something out of a Fellini movie… Whoops – I mean, a Lady Gaga music video. In its 14 seasons, this show has had some sultry and passionate tangos. This was not one of them. Gladys kept up with some fun parts, but she and Tristan looked bored and stiff. It also didn't help that a 67-year-old woman was doing a demanding dance to a song with no beat. The couple and the judges all looked awkward during the analysis. Gladys got a 20.
Talk about a train that went off the tracks. Dancing to Twister Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take it," actor William Levy and Cheryl were off to a promising jive, great energy, great kicks. Then they went off synch. They tried to get back on track. Several times. They're on point, they're off, on point, off, repeat. Cheryl even lost a shoe. The judges knew it was a rough go. Score: 22.
William and Cheryl were both good sports. He tweeted, "Thank u for all the love !!!! And support!!! Love u all!!! I feel blessed having all this love from u all!" Cheryl tweeted, "Nothing like putting your best foot forward. Even if its with only one shoe! Hope you liked our dance tonight! Haha!!"
It is rock week, right? Not opposite week? I didn't miss something, did I? Because I thought I just saw Disney star Roshon Fegan and Chelsie do a Viennese waltz to
David Cook's "The Time of My Life." For a dance and a song that had absolutely no business being in rock week, Roshon and Chelsie did a sweet job. Aww. Cause that's what rock is all about. Being sweet. Whatever. Score: 26.
Now for the night's nail-biting factor: TV host Maria Menounos not only danced with broken ribs – we learned she's precariously dancing with stress fractures in her feet. But the show must go on, and Maria does not plan to quit. But Derek knows how to choreograph around injury (Jennifer Grey, anyone?). They tangoed to Alice Cooper's "School's Out." The moves and energy were wonderful. Maria was sharp, injuries seemingly not a factor. It'd be quite something to picture her hoofing at full force. The judges glowed, and gave her a 26.
Singer Gavin DeGraw, the dark horse of the season, was last. He and Karina also tackled a tango to the Rolling Stones' "Paint it, Black," and Gavin dove into it. He finally looked like he's hungry for the dance and tried to really lead. But the judges abhor his posture. Carrie Ann said he looked like Johnny Depp. Way to throw the dog a bone. They gave him a 23.
So far this season, the lowest scoring dancers have gone home, with Jack Wagner last week. That puts Gladys at the bottom, with Sherri right behind her. The next elimination will be Tuesday at 9 p.m.
KISS is back for another night, along with a performance from the Gotan Project.
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