Is going back to high school your idea of romance?
If so, maybe you should try out for The Bachelor.
Last night’s episode featured a group date in which the ladies returned to high school with Bachelor Ben Higgins, complete with lessons in chemistry, geography, lunch (?) and gym. If I remember correctly, there was a high school-themed date on Chris Soules’ season last year, too.
One troubling thing we learned—none of the contestants can correctly identify Indiana, Ben’s home state, on a map. Two of the women actually placed the state sideways on a map, where Pennsylvania is supposed to be. Fail!
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The women also ran track and bobbed for apples (did you ever do that in class?) which led to jokes about contestant Jackie’s mouth not being big enough to grasp one.
Dentist Mandi was the fastest runner and was crowned homecoming queen, and she got to ride shotgun in Ben’s convertible with a tiara on her head and his old letterman's jacket around her shoulders. Unfortunately, she was one of three girls eliminated at the end of the night—probably because Ben was still scarred from the dental exam she performed on him during week one.
A second group date took other contestants to a lab to rate their scientific compatibility with Ben. “Blondes shouldn’t be on this date,” one of the identical twins complained, making fair-haired women everywhere cringe.
One woman, a lawyer named Samantha, was told she smelled “sour” on national TV; Olivia, a news anchor who is already showing villain tendencies, was rated the best match for Ben. She made sure to let everyone know it, multiple times.
Hey, remember when this happened? #theBachelor pic.twitter.com/NCfsGJNRTT
— Dana Weiss (@Possessionista) January 12, 2016
Speaking of villains, Lace, the drunk girl from the premiere episode, continued to act unhinged every time she thought Ben wasn’t paying enough attention to her. “I’m not crazy!” she said at least a half-dozen times, confirming everybody’s beliefs that she is, in fact, nuts.
Perky Caila, a 24-year-old software saleswoman from Boston, got the first one-on-one date of the season. Before their dinner date, she and Ben went on a ride along with Ice Cube and Kevin Hart, who star in the upcoming movie Ride Along 2.
They really stole the show from Ben and Caila, who asked each other in-depth questions like “what’s your favorite color?”
“I made chicken in a crockpot once. That was cool,” Hart said of the most romantic thing he’d ever done for a woman.
“I got married,” Ice Cube offered.
More love advice from them, please!
At the rose ceremony, one of the many Laurens left voluntarily, saying she was too stressed out to continue. Ben eliminated Mandi (but did she get to keep her tiara?), poor sour-smelling Sam and Jackie.
I saw a definite connection between flight attendant Lauren B. and Ben, as well as chemistry between him and single mom-of-two Amanda. The scene in which he helped her make barrettes for her two little girls may have been the most genuine part of the episode.
I’m looking forward to next week to see what kinds of trouble Olivia and Lace continue to stir up.
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