After 10 years, couple gets pregnant through IVF, ends tragically, they try again

ANNAPOLIS, Md. - Getting pregnant and having a baby is one of those things we all think is supposed to happen naturally.

But for anyone who's struggled with infertility, you know how hard it is. For one local couple it was a painful journey.

Lori and John Ennis were college sweethearts. They started dating at Virginia Tech. Four years later, they were married and didn't wait long to start trying to have a baby.

"My husband had just gotten out of flight school and so that was a good time to start. We were about to be stationed at our first duty station," Lori says.

Her husband John is a pilot in the marines. Trying to get pregnant between his deployments was stressful.

But that was just the beginning of their problems. No matter how hard they tried, Lori was not getting pregnant.

Lori says, "There were various diagnoses from unexplained to endometriosis to PCOS just no reason other than you should be getting pregnant and you're not."

They struggled with infertility for more than 10 years. Lori went through a number of fertility treatments. But nothing worked.

John says, "Time probably passed a lot quicker for me because I was always so busy with work. I know for Lori, it certainly felt longer than 10 years."

The couple finally decided to adopt. But even that fell through.

Lori says, "I really got to the point where I said it just might not be in the cards for me to be a mother."

But she gave it one more shot. The couple went to Shady Grove Fertility to meet Dr. Simon Kipersztok.

He says, "I remember vividly being very optimistic about the ability of being able to help them."

"When Dr. Kipersztok said I really think you're going to get pregnant. You're going to get pregnant, it's probably going to be the first try, I remember thinking sure, I bet you tell everybody that," Lori says.

Sure enough, Lori did get pregnant through In Vitro Fertilization. 9 months later, it was finally time.

Before leaving for the hospital, Lori hung a blue Christmas stocking for her baby boy.

Her labor was long and when it was not progressing, Lori's doctor stepped in.

“When she broke my water I started bleeding and they immediately realized something was very, very wrong."

Lori had a rare and undetected complication called vasa previa. Matthew was born without a heartbeat. Doctors were able to revive him. But he needed to go to a bigger hospital.

Lori says, "Before they medevaced him, they brought him in his isolette and at the time I didn't realize the seriousness. I just thought oh our family is known for drama. He's going to be the miracle baby and I just kept telling everybody he was going to be fine… I was able to reach into the isolette and touch his cheek and touch his shoulder. That was all I got, I wish I'd had more."

John rushed to Georgetown hospital where Matthew was being medevaced. He says, "When I went up there and met the doctors I pretty much knew it was a dire situation."

Those tiny fingers could only hold on for so long. Baby Matthew died in his daddy's arms.

Lori says, "John was able to be with him as he took his last breath and he was able to hold him so he wasn't alone and I'm eternally grateful for that. We have a very, very strong faith in God and on days I couldn't breath I know that's where it had to come from."

Matthew was in this world for 8 short hours, but he left a lifetime of hope. Lori says, "He's certainly not replaceable but now that we know what it feels like to be a mommy and a daddy we can't even imagine not being able to feel that again."

They found the strength to try IVF one more time. On May 14th last year, Lori found out she was pregnant.

She says, "I just remember dropping to my knees and being so thankful. And 9 months later we had our Luke. He's like icing on the cake because he's so mellow and good and calm and sweet. Just a happy, happy baby."

For Lori, she carries one baby in her arms, the other in her heart.

One thing that helped Lori and John in the process of trying to conceive was Shady Grove's shared risk program.
The fertility center offers a 100% refund if a baby is not delivered after 6 IVF cycles.

After the loss of Matthew, Lori and John were able try again without the financial burden.

There are also online communities where you can find support if you have lost a baby.

Grieveoutloud.org and facesofloss.com are two sites where you can connect with other families who have lost a child.