by Alex Shalman
It’s no secret that most people would give an arm and a leg to be in a delicious and extraordinary relationship. A relationship where there is love, passion, and understanding. One in which both partners communicate, feel fulfilled, and are content in all their desires. The problem is that many people either don’t have the tools, desire, or imagination to create such a relationship. The fact is that some people do not deserve such a relationship, and not because I think they’re a bad person, but because they just aren’t ready for it on some level. This type of relationship is truly off limits to some. That’s not to say that these limits can’t be reached. In order to deserve and obtain this type of relationship, one must have achieved a certain level of development as a person. A level of communication, compassion, caring that for some might come naturally, and for others takes quite a bit of work. An article about that can be found here, because that’s not what this article is about. This article consists of steps to create an awesome relationship once you are ready to be in an awesome relationship. 12 Fun Ways To Enhance Your Relationships- The proactive listening game. When your partner is speaking, listen very attentively, ask questions to clarify, and restate what was said with the intention to understand better. When your partner feels understood, they will also feel appreciated, and satisfied, which will facilitate better communication. This will work out problems while they’re the size of peanuts instead of mountains. (more on proactive listening)
- Don’t be the person that people lie to. Your reaction to people plays an enormous role in the amount of information that people disclose to you. If you take a level-headed approach, and respond carefully, you will almost certainly avoid being lied to by the people in your life. Honesty can than truly be the best policy. (more on handling being lied to and detecting lies)
- Share a bucket list. Create a running list of things to do, places to experience, and goals to accomplish. I’m talking about things to do together, with you and your partner. They give you something to anticipate with excitement and plan together. (more on bucket lists)
- Share each others strong suits. During dinner, or any quite and intimate time together, take the time to tell your partner what you admire about them. You can tell them about those special things that you admire and adore about them. Extra points if you mention something they didn’t know about themselves.
- Get complete, ASAP and on schedule. If you have a grievance with your partner, or suspect that your partner has some issue with you, talk to them and work it out as soon as possible. You’ll feel much lighter without the bitterness associated with holding on to negative thoughts. You can also schedule an end of the week/month/year session in which you clear things up and make sure there are no misunderstandings about anything.
- Drop the rackets, kill the ego. Rackets are those stories we keep running in our minds, that may or may not be true, but don’t bring a positive addition to the outcome. You may be right, but it may not benefit your relationship with your partner. This is where you decide the relationship is more important than your ego, and get off it.
- You’re together, accept each other. Here’s the thing about criticism. In almost every situation you have no right giving it. If you have an urgent need to express a criticism it needs to be constructive, tactfully presented, with compassion in mind and most importantly with a strategic solution to what can be done about this issue (don’t leave them hanging.)
- Do NOT play the blame game. This right in line with number 6. It’s never about being right or wrong, and the time spent arguing is never worth it and cannot be gotten back. Taking responsibility, and moving on to bigger better things as soon as possible will make life awesome.
- Share The Landmark Forum. When Marina and I did the landmark forum together, it brought our extraordinary relationship to new heights that I didn’t expect. At the point I couldn’t even imagine getting any closer to her, despite the fact that we were getting closer each day. As an example, if our relationship was at a 15 out of 10 already, it hit 30 over the course of a weekend. I would say that we got our money’s worth. (more on landmark forum)
- Learn & have adventures together. There is a limitless amount of activities you can share together, or things you can learn together. Sharing in experiences, and creating great memories, provides great things to go back to when you’re having intimate reflections on life. Better to fill life up with pleasant moments to reflect upon than otherwise.
- Pet the puppy. A term I picked up a long time ago, and recently heard again from Susan Rink. To Pet the puppy, all you need to do is acknowledge, and let your partner know you appreciate them, when they do a something nice, or go out of their way for you. You can never appreciate someone too much, so don’t hold back. (more on pet the puppy)
- Discuss Your Non-Negotiables. This should be done within the first few dates. Put everything on the table that you aren’t willing to budge from in your life, such as where you want to live, if you want to have kids, and what type of lifestyle you expect to have. These things are crucial! (more on non-negotiables)
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